In their daily encounters, leaders often struggle to notice in others and themselves insightful, powerful pointers to hidden signals. Particularly in negotiations, interview situations, solving team conflicts or in one-to-ones with a colleague, being able to read micro-expressions and body language can give a crucial added value for judging situations and gaining a deeper understanding of people.
Around 90% of communication is nonverbal. It was Prof Albert Mehrabian, a researcher of body language, who first broke down the components of a face-to-face conversation. He found that 55% of communication is nonverbal, 38% vocal, and only 7% words alone.
This means in every workplace, we are all receiving and sending invaluable messages - without saying a word. By sending these signals, we are doing something remarkably powerful: we are letting others into our secret world of subconscious activity. (Ref Professor Gerald Zaltman, Harvard Business School 2013).
Being able to read signals and knowing what to look for, gives you a profound insight into others and your own inner world.
Look out for these signals in others:
Colour change. Do they redden on the neck or face when talking to you, indicating they are anxious?
Are their shoulders tense or relaxed? Holding shoulders along with inhibited breathing indicates they are tense.
Head and chin down with limited eye contact means they are going inside themselves for answers instead of feeling able to ask questions.
Head and chin up with visual gaze upwards, likely to be visualising what you are saying.
These are just a few examples. The list of hidden signals is extensive and can vary person to person, though it is truly empowering and revealing to explore them thoroughly. As a leader, it gives you the insights needed to effectively and impactfully communicate:
in the Boardroom
interviewing
mentoring and coaching
prospecting
negotiating
and moreover, also in your private lives.
A few weeks ago, I was meeting with a Finance director who explained that he was concerned people didn’t approach him for support or seek him out. As his Mentor he asked me to help him resolve this because his recent 360 report showed he was unapproachable. I explained that when I had observed him walk down the corridor, he frequently had his head down and gave infrequent eye contact. This gave the impression of being in his own world and not looking to engage. In the boardroom he was looking at his laptop time and time again and not engaging with the other directors. He was sending the wrong signals. The art of communication is to consciously send the right signals that you are receptive and want people to approach you.
Last week I followed up with him and he reported that life was so much easier. He said “It seemed such a small thing and pretty obvious when you think about it. I realise I must having been coming across as disinterested, and I am certainly not. Bizarrely even my staff have commented that I seem a lot happier these days and more relaxed. More importantly people talk to me now and that leads to more efficiency across all processes. A little change has made a big difference for me. The whole team is much more energized!”.
Receiving the signals empowers us to respond in an informed and supportive way. For example, if someone is suddenly reddening up, this is a clear sign that something is pushing their blood pressure up. Say “I noticed something seems to be bothering you, can I help?” Or simply opening up the conversation with “Hi, how’s it going?” For people to feel more at ease about addressing things that are not working, show vulnerability yourself as a Leader, demonstrating that it’s okay to not be okay.
Sonia Saxton is Strengths Unleashed Partner and an experienced ‘Corporate Specialist’ with over 35 years’ experience working on group and individual performance challenges. She is described as having high levels of intuition and a tenacious attitude that gets you to where you want to be.
Image credit: Carlos Alberto Gómez Iñiguez via Unsplash
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